There's Viagra in the Water nOriginal performance by the Four Bitchin' Babes nnTab by Gosp. Gospex at Gmail dot com nFirst attempt, so stand with me here. nnn/---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- n[Bbm]                                                                                         [Fm] nJust outside of Johnson city on a dark and twisting road n                                                                                           [Bbm] nIn a Kenworth 18 wheeler with a heavy shifting load n                                                                                                                                   [Ebm] nHe was pushing through to Bingamton though the hour was getting late n                                            [Bbm                  Fm]                      [Bbm] nBuys his finest sons a mission to the pharmacies upstate n                 [Ebm        Bbm]                              [Fm]                            [Bbm] nHe was on a holy mission, there were men who couldn’t wait n            [Ab        Gb             Fm                Bm] nIt was twenty thousand pounds of Viagra nn[Bbm]                                                                                    [Fm] nHe clocked 700 miles since he climbed into the rig n                                                                                [Bbm] nJust another 25 or so would finish up that gig n                                                                                             [Ebm] nBut the trailer hit an oil slick and down the hill did fly n                                          [Bbm               Fm]  nTill it landed at the bottom in the towns water supply n             [Ebm              Bbm               Fm               Bbm] nIt was instant rigor mortis what a hard way die nnn--Chorus-- n                    AbM                                           [Bbm]  nSave your sons,  n                      DbM  nshield your daughters  n                 FM  nthere’s Viagra  n            [Bbm]  nin the water n--END Chorus-- nnAll over Johnson city people rising with the dawn nThey drank their morning coffee, took their showers watered lawns nAnd who could have predicted all the changes up ahead? nMen were getting up for work and women back to bed nSo many called in sick you would have thought a virus spread nnDown at the courthouse coffee shop stared in disbelief nAs a pack of thirsty lawyers started filling out their briefs nBut at the local college young men appeared much smarter nNo chromosomal mystery they simply studied harder nNow water on the rocks is the latest party starter nnnSave your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water nnnThe Johnson city firemen they cursed their retched luck nThey could not get their fire hoses wound back on the truck nSprinkling holy water at a funeral father Ryan said… nI know I’ve saved your souls but I’ve never raised the dead nWould a couple strong men help me now close the casket lid? nnOld man Weisse just took the shower of his life nThen he marched into the kitchen and he called out to his wife nShe knew something was up as he stood naked at the table nHolding two cups of coffee and a half a dozen bagels nIt had been at least a decade since the last time he was able nnnSave your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water nnnBelievers seeking miracles the pilgrims came in hordes nThe waters of Viagra grew more popular than Lordes nThe clergy quoted scripture but they found it hard to sell nThose who chose to be anointed were pointed straight to hell nDespite the dire warning the crowds began to swell nnSome hardened politicians came into town one day nWith their permits and their pipelines pumped the waters all away nFrom the heart of Johnson city came rose the mournful cry of men nBut the women knew another truck was coming through again nDon’t worry there’s a truck next week, we’ll spread the oil again nnSave your sons, shield your daughters there’s Viagra in the water  n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------/